When have I learnt to abstain from indulging in my emotions? i dislike talking to people who do not know me well enough to accept all that i am, because that saltish liquid is right near the edge of my lids. i tell others a small portion of you, they do not know about the many other things i think of when i think of you.

today i will focus on the things i like about you, instead of the things i do not. i like how we can remain silent, how we do still fundamentally accept each other. i like how we are different and that i've grown as a person, i like how you are secure, i like how you push me to act on my promises. i like how ridiculously child-like you can actually be, i like how we are simply ourselves. but these are not enough, and i am torn. i will not focus on the negative and i will miss you in these 2 - 3 months. things will be different, and i will be almost completely alone when i am in Japan for the 1.5 months, and perhaps in time to come. i do not know, but for now, we will take the time to grow on our own.

i hope to pick up some pieces of myself in the foreign land and return as version closer to the one i want to be.